I'm Frank. I'm the one who'll be in the room.
I spent five years at Uber — San Francisco, then Chicago, then Amsterdam. After that I ran treasury at Gorillas. Today I run Flores Treasury, and that is the work that pays for my week.
Tembral is not a company with a team behind it. I designed it, I built it, and I ship it — this site and the app both. When something here breaks, there is nobody else who could have broken it.
I facilitate every circle myself. Not a rotating panel, not a trained volunteer, not a contractor. Me, on the call, every time.
I also wrote a book. It’s called Good Was Armor and it comes out on 10 September 2026. It’s about my own life. Nothing anybody says in a circle goes into it.
I’m not a therapist and I’m not a clinician. I have no training that qualifies me to treat anyone, and I’m not going to invent some.
I spent years in rooms full of gay men and went home from most of them without having said one true thing. Everybody called me. I called nobody. I got tired of it.
Because shame doesn’t just hurt you. It robs you of real closeness with the people you love most and time with them is the one thing you can’t get back.
So this is the room I wanted and couldn't find. One hour, a small number of men, first names, and nobody performing.
I'm not a therapist and I'm not a clinician. I have no training that qualifies me to treat anyone, and I'm not going to invent some. What I can do is hold an hour and keep it to its own rules.
The rest of the week I do treasury work for companies, and I'm writing a book. The book is about my own life. Nothing anybody says in a circle goes into it, or into anything else I write.
I'll be on the call on 30 August. That's the whole of it.
Frank
I facilitate every circle myself, and there is nobody to hand one to.
One man has a finite number of hours in a week, and an hour split too many ways stops being an hour anybody gets to speak in.
That is where the numbers come from: four for the circle to run, eight as the ceiling.
I'm not a therapist. If what you want is therapy, you're owed someone trained and licensed to give it to you, and I'd rather you had that than this.
I'm not a clinician, and nothing here is a diagnosis or a treatment. If something in your head or your body needs a doctor, you're owed a doctor, and an hour on Zoom is not a substitute for one.
This isn't crisis work. If tonight is an emergency, you're owed somebody awake and answering now — in the Netherlands, 113 Zelfmoordpreventie is free and answered day and night, on 113 or 0800-0113. Anywhere in Europe, 112.
Before 30 August, or after it, or instead of it — write to me.
That address reaches me and nobody else. I answer these myself.
